I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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