he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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