i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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