Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
