she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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