using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
