I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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