Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
