We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
