He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Come see our sink grown plant.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
