do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
