it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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