i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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