What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
