No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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