I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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