How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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