Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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