What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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