Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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