he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
