Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
MIDGETS
????
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
