I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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