when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you inspire me to be a worse person
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I love you. Go after that dick
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
