So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The Olympian is in my bed
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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