one word: firstdatebathroomanal
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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