Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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