mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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