Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
