id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
People in love make me want to vomit
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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