So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
