Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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