This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize