dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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