My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
