Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.

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(650): View more from California

in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",

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(201): View more from New Jersey

he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care

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(301): View more from Maryland

Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you

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(419): View more from Ohio

I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity

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(231): View more from Michigan

I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.

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