pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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