Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
