As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
