Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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