i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
