I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
