the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
