She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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