I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You don't make any sense
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