is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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