Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you didnt know i had herpes?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
