$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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