new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
