Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
