Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
operation have a gay friend backfired
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
