it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize