I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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