Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
