She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
