That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
