Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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