Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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