Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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