My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
