everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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