FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
