All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
