I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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