so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
