i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
