yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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